I learned about “midrash” in my creative writing class in college. Midrash is a form of writing that fleshes out Biblical stories in more detail. The Bible is huge and covers lots of different characters, time periods, locations, and so on. By default, there are tons of details left to the imagination. And that is where midrash comes in. It takes the original core Biblical story and expounds on it.

It’s very difficult to do midrash well. Unfortunately, my latest book review will not be highlighting an example of midrash done well. Babylon’s Falling by William G. Collins was extremely painful to get through.

In this book, the author attempted to fill in the gaps of what happened over the course of Daniel’s life. However, because the writing was so immature and shallow, I came away from the book with no additional insight or emotion about the character of Daniel. In fact, all of the characters in the book were flat and unremarkable. I’m not exaggerating when I say the book truly was painful to finish. The only reason I finally forced my way through it was so I could get another (hopefully better) book to review.

Do not waste your time on it. There are far better midrash options out there for you to enjoy. Just a few pages into this book, I realized that the tone of the book was exactly the same as the Barbie chapter books for children that I used to read the little girl I baby-sat before bed. For instance, in this short excerpt:

It was dark now and only the embers of their fire could be seen floating up into the sky. Daniyyel wondered as he watched them sparkle in the air, if Nebuchadnezzar was as tyrannical as everyone said he was. It would be a challenge for them to find themselves in a nation of pagans whose gods were an abomination to the Lord. He decided he would have to force himself to face the days ahead with a strong will and steadfast faith. (pg 15)

As you can see even in these few sentences, the author does far too much telling and not nearly enough showing. The entire book goes on like this, with obvious statements, little drama/action/intrigue. When there is something interesting happening,  you’re so annoyed by the simplified, dumbed-down language and grammatical mistakes that you miss the point.

I can’t even remember why the author calls “Daniel” Daniyyel. I think it may be buried somewhere in the first several chapters, but I can’t find the explanation now, if there is one.

In short, leave this one alone and research some great midrash writers if you’re interested in this genre.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

So lately I’ve been hearing about this SOPA bill that’s going to be voted on soon. But nothing has put it quite so clearly as this video:

After watching, what are your thoughts?

Clearly, I was convinced (if you haven’t noticed the black protest banner at the top of our site

Living in a place where internet censorship is a daily reality makes me definitely NOT want anything that remotely resembles that in my own country. Enterprise is DEFINITELY hindered by the official censorship here, and it would be a shame for the US to follow suit.

I can’t put a lot of details publicly (so that the methods we use aren’t shut down), but basically 99% of our communication with all of you back home (including these blog posts) wouldn’t be able to happen if we were living in China using internet like the normal population here. WordPress is blocked, FB is blocked, Youtube is blocked, sometimes even Wikipedia and Google are completely blocked.

It really scares me that the US government wants to be handed over permission to censor internet as they see fit. Not only enterprise, but daily relationships have become so intertwined with these websites. If Congress showed up at our dinner table and said we weren’t allowed to talk about x, y, and z, I think we’d all be screaming “1984″ right?

Whether you agree or disagree with the ethics of FB having become a replacement/supplement to conversation over the dinner table, the fact is it probably has taken that role in your life.

I find FB invaluable for maintaining daily contact with friends and family with whom I can’t enjoy that daily connection in real life right now, so using FB and WordPress definitely takes an intimate role in my life.

Sorry, Congress, but I don’t want you messing with that.

If you also find this disturbing enough to do something about, visit americancensorship.org.

Recently, Angel and I discovered the Chinese version of K-Mart. On our trip to this store, Angel and I found some “creative” translations of the store sections. I saved the best for last, so check out all of them!

West Point’s not just a military academy…it’s a food section. Full of “Western” snacks, which mostly hail from Korea and Japan.

Got your instant noodles on the left, and “business” on the right.

What’s in the “business” section?

A “Hot and Sour Family” soup or “Refined Soup Chop Flavor”.

“Puffing food” is exactly what it sounds like: foods that make you puff up.

Last but not least, come to China if you need to buy “stereotypes”. They have a whooooole aisle of “stereotypes”. Just gettin’ some milk, bread, and stereotypes.

Our first blog post of 2012! (And our first one, in like, a month, right?) To keep it relatively simple, here’s a generic 2011 recap survey:

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Matt – moved outside of the western suburbs of Chicago
Angel – taught English as a legit teacher

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Matt – Nope and nope. I don’t even remember them!
Angel – What he said.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Matt – What? I don’t think so. Um…
Angel – Yes! Two dear friends from our home church both had their first babies not too long ago. I’m so excited for them!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Matt – Jen
Angel – Yes, 2011 was a sad year My aunt Jen passed away after a bone marrow transplant and a good friend from home passed away in a car accident. Both were so young. It’s still unbelievable to me.

5. What places did you visit? 

Matt – Arizona, LaPorte, Hong Kong, Beijing, Guangzhou
Angel – What he said

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Matt – Amazing Mandarin skills
Angel –  What he said

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Matt – I’m not very good with dates, so this one is proving to be problematic.
Angel –  I’m also not good with dates, but Jen passed away Memorial Day weekend, and I will always remember that weekend as a terrible weekend, even if I don’t remember the dates. Matt and I were camping that weekend, and it literally rained the whole time, except for when were almost caught in a tornado at the campground while sitting in my car.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

Matt – Feeling good about finishing the semester
Angel –  The first time I took the bus by myself in Tianjin

9. What was your biggest failure?

Matt – Not being able to help my dad sell his business before I left
Angel –  Every time I went to the printer’s office at our school

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Matt – Nothing serious, but the whole trip up to Tianjin, I felt like I was going to die from food poisoning.
Angel – Just a bad cold during the week of my birthday

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Matt – Macbook
Angel – Projector

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Matt – My dad for selling his practice
Angel – My awesome husband for being amazing every day

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Matt – In the news in general, Anthony Weiner.
Angel – Call me a cultural snob/elitist, but Chinese people who are constantly spitting everywhere. I just can’t get used to that. I still flinch every time.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Matt – Health insurance
Angel – Health insurance

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Matt – Food
Angel –  Having a Western bathtub

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Matt – “You and I” by Ingrid Michaelson
Angel – a song I wrote earlier in the year after being laid off about things being difficult and depressing, but not giving up hope. It also came to my mind a lot during the week of Jen’s funeral.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

Matt – Happier
Angel – Happier

b) thinner or fatter? 

Matt – Thinner
Angel – I don’t know, I haven’t weighed myself since we got to China, but my pants still fit well, so hopefully thinner or the same

c) richer or poorer?

Matt – Poorer
Angel – Poorer, but with fewer expenses

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Matt – Trust that everything would be okay in the end
Angel – Organizing time with my students

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Matt – Worrying
Angel – Assignments for my students

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2011?

Matt – Went to church and rode around Tianjin with Ariel
Angel – Ate breakfast at McDonald’s with Matthew, went to the international fellowship, hung out with Ariel

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Matt – I fall in love every day with the same woman
Angel – Nope, just stayed in love

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Matt – Modern Family
Angel – Dollhouse

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2011?

Matt – Went out for Indian food with my whole family
Angel – I was super sick, but Matthew still took me out to Coldstone and to Walmart

24. What was the best book you read?

Matt – Oryx and Crake
Angel – this free Nook book called Mary Magdalene – A Woman Who Loved. I also loved The Hunger Games

25. What did you want and get?

Matt – A job in China
Angel – Lots of things, a Kinect a projector, to hang out with David in Chicago

26. What did you want and not get?

Matt – To hang out with my family for Christmas
Angel – An office chair and a memory foam pad. And a Chinese massage. (Maybe next week?)

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

Matt – Green Hornet
Angel –  X Men

28. Did you make some new friends this year?

Matt – Yes
Angel – Yes

29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Matt – If I was already fluent in Chinese
Angel – Knowing the expectations of our school about teaching and grading, etc.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Matt – Old Chinese Man
Angel –  Boring teacher?

31. What kept you sane?

Matt – My wife. That means you. Though sometimes you did make me a little insane. You can’t have the honey without the macademias.
Angel – Matthew. Jesus.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Matt – Fancy? What is this, England? That Kim Jong-un guy is pretty fancy.
Angel –  I don’t know, I guess Kiefer Sutherland because 24 got me through many hours of boring essay grading.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Matt – Occupy Wall Street
Angel –  Environmental Protection and Food Safety

34. Who did you miss?

Matt – My family
Angel – I probably missed our dog the most since we lived with her every day.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. 

Matt – Even if someone says the water is okay, if you suspect it’s bad, don’t drink it.
Angel –  Never trust a Chinese person giving you directions. No matter how confident they sound.

Awkward, but funny.

These past couple of weeks have been majorly stressful for us. We’re both teaching extra classes and feeling the crunch of grading, lesson planning, and oh, by the way, the administration of our school decided to move final exams week up by a week. They told us today, one month before we have to give students the exams. (Which we started writing today since we just found out they need to be turned in to the department by this Sunday. Guess it’s a good time to figure out what we’re teaching for the rest of the semester so we can put it on the exams…)

So needless to say, we love those little shining moments of humor that make English teaching a little more fun and a little less painful. Even when those moments also lead to incredible awkwardness.

Example One:

A few weeks ago, we were grading papers and working on lesson plans in our apartment. Suddenly, Matt started cracking up and read one of his student’s sentences aloud to me. She had written a persuasive paper about the importance of teaching sex education in schools. Here was her sentence:

“Some people think sex education is an awkward topic and embarrassing to bring to the public, and that the acquisition of the regarding information should be a process that children grope through all by themselves.”

After laughing for a minute, Matt read the next sentence:

“This is actually a false conception.”

Did she plan these puns? He talked to her later in class, and she was mystified about why she couldn’t use “grope” and “conception” when arguing about sex education. Matt explained the double meanings of the words, and then she laughed and realized why they weren’t exactly appropriate for a formal argument. Awkward, but funny.

Example Two:

I’m teaching my second-year students how to write MLA format research papers. To help them see a real-life example, I gave them a copy of a paper I wrote in college. Here is the first page:

My example research paper

The title of my paper is Incest: The Ultimate Cause of Destruction in “The Fall of the House of Usher” It was about the short story by Edgar Allan Poe, arguing that incest was the main theme of the story and the reason for the characters’ destruction.

I wanted to give my students an example of a research paper that had a title within the title, and this was the only one I had with a title like that. That was the part I focused on when I showed them the paper in class…”See how you format the title when there is another title in the title? You put quotation marks or italics just on the title that is in the title, not on the whole title of your paper.”

I didn’t think much else of my example paper until I started editing the first drafts of my last class. For some reason, none of my other classes did this, but in my last class, I had multiple papers turned in with “incest” in the titles. Here are some samples:

At first, I thought maybe Joyce has themes of incest in his works too. I haven’t read much of him, so I let it slide. But after I started seeing multiple “incest” appearances, I caught on to what was happening and went back to cross “incest” off the title. I’m pretty sure Joyce isn’t as creepy as Poe after all…

Incest is a big problem in Samsung…

Even though this student caught her mistake and tried to cross it out, I knew what was beneath that black mark. Incest: The Spanish Traveling Culture.

Incest: The Poyang Lake Devil’s Triangle in China. Like the Bermuda Triangle…but scarier. In many ways.

And my personal favorite…Incest: Green Tea Can Help People Lose Weight.

Matt was fortunate that with his student, he just had to explain the awkward misunderstanding to one person. But my little misunderstanding needs to be explained to my whole class tomorrow, since half the class has seen “Incest” added on to titles. (They had peer editors last week who looked over these papers…obviously, most of the peer editors also didn’t know that “incest” shouldn’t always be used as the first word in your research paper.)